Lyrical Miracles
Written by: Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Michael Turner & Christopher Portugal
[Thes One, with echo effect:]
Yo, this is Thes One. I sincerely apologize for that first track. I know that you put a lot of work into, uh… hold on lemme turn this… [echo effect shortens and becomes drier] I know you put a lot of work into, uh, you know, um… downloading and stealing this record, so you know, I wanna make sure that you get, uh… y- your money's worth, so what right now we gonna run through some lyrical ballads by Wordsworth and Coleridge… Cooooolridge! Yeah!
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, in seven parts… yeah…
It is an ancyent Marinere,
And he stoppeth one of three:
"By thy long grey beard and thy glittering eye
"Now wherefore stoppest me?
The bridegroom's doors are open'd wide
"And I am next of kin;
"The Guests are met, the Feast is set,--
"May'st hear the merry din.
But still he holds the wedding-guest--
There was a Ship, quoth he--
"Nay, if thou'st got a laughsome tale,
"Marinere! come with me."
He holds him with his skinny hand,
Quoth he, there was a Ship--
"Now get thee hence, thou grey-beard Loon!
"Or my Staff shall make thee skip.
He holds him with his glittering eye--
The wedding guest stood still
And listens like a three year's child;
The Marinere hath his will.
The wedding-guest sate on a stone,
He cannot chuse but hear:
And thus spake on that ancyent man,
The bright-eyed Marinere.
The Ship was cheer'd, the Harbour clear'd--
Merrily did we drop
Below the Kirk, below the Hill,
Below the Light-house top.
The Sun came up upon the left,
Out of the Sea came he:
And he shone bright, and on the right
Went down into the Sea.
Higher and Higher every day,
Till over the mast at noon--
The wedding-guest here beat his breast,
For he heard the loud bassoon.
The Bride hath pac'd into the Hall,
Red as a rose is she;
Nodding their heads before her goes
The merry Minstralsy.
The wedding-guest he beat his breast
Yet he cannot chuse but hear:
And thus spake on that ancyent Man,
The bright-eyed Marinere.
Yeah… Wordsworth and Colridge, y'all… uh… oh…
Listen, Stranger! Storm and Wind,
A Wind and Tempest strong!
For days and weeks it play'd us freaks--
Like Chaff we drove along.
Listen, Stranger! Mist and Snow,
And it grew wond'rous cauld:
And Ice mast-high came floating by
As green as Emeraaaaaaaaaaauld.
Yeah… Part two, coming soon…
Trivia:
- This is one part of a loose reading by Thes One of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner", meant as a snub to people who tried to download Stepfather early from the web and got this "internet leak" instead.
This track appears on the following releases:
- A fake Internet "leak" in 2006.
- Redheaded Stepfather: The Fake Leak (2006) (CD-R) - HipHopSite.com promo with the online purchase of Stepfather
